tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487564985331012204.post5603668158950754601..comments2023-06-18T00:51:27.936-07:00Comments on JP Beaty's Blog: Novel chapter 1THE BEATYhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06707403512875881799noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-487564985331012204.post-17938809158806820492010-12-08T20:19:56.324-08:002010-12-08T20:19:56.324-08:00There's an over use of I and me. First person...There's an over use of I and me. First person writing is very difficult. There are several words that are used repeatedly. Try to vary your sentence structure to keep the reading interesting.<br />After reading this, I don't have a strong perspective on who the character is.<br />The conversational sections were a bit confusing. Breaking them up with some descriptives about the actions of the speaker may help that.<br />I'd be interested in seeing an overall outline to better grasp the flow of the story.<br />Hope this helps?KMShearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10633598906724604369noreply@blogger.com