jp's comics and stuff

winter

2012-01-02T19:30:00.000-08:00

A nice wintery picture

MIX Preview

2011-11-03T20:19:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Minneapolis Indie Xpo. I will be exibiting with Sam Hiti at table 83 right next to 2d cloud. I will be selling old books (adventures of alan moore, law shark, and snakeman) and new stuff (mongoose SWAT and four new prints). See everybody there.

Mongoose SWAT cover

2011-11-02T20:11:00.000-07:00

Final cover for Mongoose SWAT premiering this weekend at Mpls indie xpo.

Fly

2011-10-25T19:09:00.000-07:00

Close up of a fly

2011-09-09T15:42:00.000-07:00

Tonight is the $99 sale at the soap factory so go to the event if you want to buy my print is dead piece.

grant morrison

2011-09-07T20:00:00.000-07:00

2011-08-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

Hey my comics are now at big brain comics in minneapolis. If you want to buy them they are in the minicomic/zine section.

soap factory $99 sale

2011-08-12T19:36:00.000-07:00

this is the piece I did for the $99 sale http://www.soapfactory.org/99home.php. It's titled Print is Dead in b Flat.

2011-08-01T20:50:00.000-07:00

an old railroad bridge by my house. Also I'm several pages into my new book mongoose SWAT.

2011-07-13T15:36:00.000-07:00

book idea. also this is 200th post apparently. so thats fun.

2011-07-12T15:15:00.000-07:00

this is an interesting piece I did for a painting class.

first I painted a large eye on a large canvas. Then after it dried I cut it into vertical strips and weaved them together creating the final image

2011-07-10T19:26:00.001-07:00

an abstract landscape

Apology

2011-06-13T19:59:00.000-07:00

Will be unable to post next week as I'm at a cabin without internet.

2011-05-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

portraits based on photos

Tech problem (Help?) and poem

2011-05-17T18:47:00.000-07:00

OK so I'm having a bit of a tech problem. The other day all the comments after a certain date disappeared. For example on Sunday magpie tale had 7 comments but then over night it shrank down to one. Has anybody else had this problem? if so how do I fix it?

Aside from that here's a new poem.

the newspaper comics
are a source of
endless fascination

there exists a
pop culture relic
sealed in amber
from another time

a time before
anything we take
for granted
in our daily lives

like politics in
everyday life,
proper gender/racial relations
sarcasm,
generation tensions,
or irony

witch leads to an
odd paradox:
how can something
created without
irony
be the source of
such ironic enjoyment

Springcon!

2011-05-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

next weekend I will be tabling (not sure if that's a word.) with Sam Hiti at Minnesota Springcon. I will be there for at least part of Saturday and Sunday. I will be selling my books; Adventures of Alan Moore, Law Shark, and Snakeman along with orginal art. Can't wait.

2011-05-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

some art photos I've taken recently.

snakeman cover

2011-05-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

cover of my new snakeman collection premiering at Minnesota spring con. more info to come.

Magpie tale: Pre-Colombian

2011-05-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

The group of people stumbled through the jungle some more inept than others. This was a group fresh off a cruise ship in the Cancun bay. For many this was the first time outside of the united states much less in the jungle. Leading the group was a man dressed in the crisp uniforms of cruise ship employees. He was telling the tourists about the archaeological dig they were about to visit. The person in question was an actual archaeologist but had been disgraced in a scandal about the supposed evidence of Atlantis off New Jersey. The group finally reached the ruins of an old Mayan city and the tourists were given tools and told to poke around. One man wanders off from the group in an attempt to find a suitable site to go to the bathroom. Around 200 feet from the site he finds a weathered looking statue in a small clearing. He immediately runs back to the group and tells the guide of his find. The guide fallowed him to the spot and takes a close look at the statue the man found. After just a few seconds his face turns pale.
"Do you know what this is?"
"No..."
"Everybody come over here!"
A minute later when everybody had entered the clearing the guide began to explain.
"This statue appears not to be pre-Colombian in nature. In fact it seems to be European in orgin. In fact this seems to be older than Columbus. this means that gulp there is another European landing in Mexico. This redefines our knowledge of history. I can't believe you found it!"
After this speech he went on to tell them about how soon experts would come here and study his find.
Hours later when the group has returned to their cruise ship the guide returns to the clearing. He picks up the statue labeled made in china and smiles. They always fall for it.

this is a magpie tale http://magpietales.blogspot.com/.

landscape

2011-05-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

a landscape of an over grown soccer field.

2011-05-09T20:13:00.001-07:00

2011-05-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

a still life of a window and guitars.

new short story

2011-04-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

the morning sun bathed the unfamiliar room in a watery yellow glow. My first thought was "this isn't my house". the second was "I have to get out of here". This was a natural reaction to the fact that I could be here for any reason and the homeowner may not see it as an innocent one. I scrambled to the sliding glass door only to find it locked. As I soon found out the same was true for all of the exits on the ground floor. After exhausting the last easy way out of the predicament I fell to the ground head in hands. I stayed like this for awhile.
After turning away from the brink of physiological breakdown I tried to figure out a logical way out of this illogical situation. Maybe if I figured out why I was in this house to begin with I would figure out how I got in and subsequently how to get out. that seemed to be a good plan or at least one to prevent me from completely losing my mind.
in an attempt to relearn the events that lead me to be in this mysterious house I sat on the couch I awoke on some time ago. However recovering the memories of the night before proved to be a challenge. In fact it seemed like this current batch of time was separated from my main memories by a bank of fog.
Eventually after accepting my memory was never returning it occurred to me the house was deserted. In fact it seemed more surreal considering the objects in the house often contradicted each other. Instead of creating a sense of a full rounded person the objects instead seemed to be creating a profile of several people or a victim of multiple personality disorder.
My hypotheses was confirmed when I became hungry and wandered into the kitchen. Instead of food the refrigerator it was more of the random objects that had so perplexed me earlier. Even stranger when I tried to open one of the books and inside was just a random collection of letters numbers and symbols.
The more I looked around in the house the more it appeared to be more of a movie set rather than a residence. While on the surface it looked like it belonged to an actual human upon closer inspection it proved to be a pale imitation. For instance the lighting from outside was at the same angle as it had been when I woke up. When I thought it about it I had no idea how long I had been in the house. I went into the side room that served no apparent purpose except to contain strange items that had a clock. I looked at it once and it read 10:00. however upon looking away and looking back the time changed to 7:00.
At once the morning sun bathed the familiar room in a watery yellow glow as I woke up.

(interesting note: a good way to tell weather or not you're in a dream is to look at a clock twice. If it shows to two very different times you know you're in a dream.)

2011-04-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

close up of a wasp.

2011-03-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

new scrachbord.

2011-03-12T16:52:00.000-08:00

for the next couple days I will continue posting illustrated poems. Today is stanza one of edgar allen poe's the bells

2011-03-11T21:24:00.000-08:00

A multimedia comic inspired by one of my favorite poems The Jaberwoky by Lewis carol. More alice in wonderland adaptions to come as part of a school project.

2011-03-07T15:34:00.000-08:00

a watercolor I did.

2011-02-15T18:52:00.000-08:00

portraits

people

2011-02-02T20:09:00.000-08:00

another round of people I've seen recently.

HUGE ANNONCEMENT

2011-01-31T18:32:00.000-08:00

over the past two months me and two freinds have been working on a movie. I am pleased to say that panorama pictures' (image above) first script is near completetion. Look to this website for updates and trailers as filming begins this summer.

birthday

2011-01-18T19:46:00.000-08:00

I turned 15 yesterday. In the past few weeks I have been working on my next book. It will be a 60 page thriller that will premier at spring con. Will post the thumbnails soon.

2010-12-31T07:45:00.000-08:00

a portrait I did for a family friend.

still life

2010-12-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

still life of a shoe and a pair of sunglasses

2010-12-16T20:08:00.000-08:00

an exercise in crosshatching I did

2010-12-08T18:10:00.000-08:00

I stand at the top of a hill snaking out below me. From my vantage point I can see a massive landscape spread out below me. A river twists and turns through an evergreen forest. Around me however there is nothing. Just me the snow, the air and a sled. Taking a steadying breath I take a running start and jump. For a second it is pure exhilarating weightlessness until I come crashing back to earth in a painful fall. No time to contemplate this however as I speed along the glossy surface of the snow. Several times I come close to tipping over my head going inches from the ground. Gradually however I lose speed and come to a halt in the evergreen forest. Though I wish I could take another run I cannot. The skiers want their hill back.

this is a magpie tale http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

(to magpie readers: if you could do me a favor and help me by commenting on chapter one of my novel 2 posts below. Much appreciated.)

2010-12-08T18:06:00.000-08:00

pages one and two of my new experimental comic "scenes from a debate tournament.

Novel chapter 1

2010-12-06T19:17:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1: The screenwriter
I awoke as the midmorning rays of sun reached my eye level. I rolled onto my back and lay eyes closed for a minute before getting up and facing the intense cold that permeated throughout my apartment and removed any heat that lay there. Removing my arm from under the blankets I felt the needles of cold bore into it. Grimacing I fumbled around for my glasses and once my hands were around them quickly drew them back under the blanket. After savoring the last few moments of being warm I took a deep breath and prepared to face the cold and by extension the world.
When I was younger I always swore that I would never become the person who rode his bike in the snow. The idea of being unprotected in the cold ready to slip on ice and fall headlong into the street was the personification of ones life gone horribly wrong. If one was in such a position in witch they were forced to do something so foolish so horribly wrong I shuddered to think what else they dealt with on a daily basis. To me it represented failure. What kind of failure is open to interpretation. Maybe it was failure to own a car. Maybe it was the idea that nature controlled you. But maybe it was just my personal hatred of cold.
The younger version of my self would be disgusted. Years after swearing I would never become that person I was that person. Here I was on a bike riding through downtown in below zero grotesque mountains of snow piled many feet high in vacant parking lots. Below my wheels patches of ice threatened to derail my bike myself with it. Navigating the sidewalks was like trying to defuse a bomb. One wrong move and I would be face down in the snow arm broken or worse. The snow itself was coming down in razor sharp pellets bring visibility way down and searing past any exposed skin. Somehow I managed to cross several blocks before disaster struck. A particularly nasty patch of ice caused my bike to fly out from under me. I watched in horror as my bike slid out into the street. I scampered up and tried to make it to my bike before it was too late. It was too late. I watched a large truck filled with salt meant to remove the ice from the sidewalks ran over my bike leaving a barely recognizable pretzel of metal. The irony does not escape me.
After walking several blocks wind searing past my face I finally reached my destination. The place in question was a coffee shop with a premeditated “creative” vide. It was a perfect example of a stereotypical artsy place down to the infuriating post modern art, the overpriced drinks that tasted like coffee you could get anywhere else for much cheaper, and the terrible poets complaining about how no one understands their work. There was some no name guitarist strumming self satisfying in the background. Needless to say I loved the place. It was so terrible but like any good train wreck you couldn’t look away. After ordering a drink that tasted like sweetened mud I walked over to where my friend sat. He sat in what had formerly been a crate (part of the shops “green” initiative) sipping a drink while flipping through a magazine left on the table by the previous occupant. It took him several seconds of me standing over him to recognize my presence. With a look of confusion and then realization he noticed me.
“Ah there you are. Have fun getting over here”
“Oh yes riding my bike through the ice and snow was the highlight of my day even my week”
“Huh that’s funny because you often lament that”
“Huh”
“What?”
“I’m trying to decide weather you don’t understand my sense of humor or understand it perfectly”
“I think you know that answer”
“Do I?”
“Well yes I’ve known you since college so…”
“Even then you never got sarcasm”
“Aha it was sarcasm!”
“Wow”
“What?”
“Just wow”
“Well if you want it like this…”
“Look I have a screenplay to write and you have something to write”
“Ahem it’s a novel”
“Yeah the “novel” you’ve been working for how many years”
“This is a new one”
“Oh fine.”
At that point we gave each other an annoyed look and put our heads down to our computers. At that time I was going through about the eighth rewrite of my screenplay.
My screenplay had begun several years ago. It had begun as my naive attempt to deconstruct the idea of film and still create a film that worked as an entertainment level as well. The idea and the first draft had been extremely easy to the point where I believed that I would soon be so enriched by this screenplay that I would be able to quit my job and just be a screenwriter. Then came the rewrites and that dream was put away. Instead I began to obsess over the script forever attempting to create perfection. What instead happened was that I became so bogged down with details that my screenplay became a heaping mess that failed on almost every level. It succeeded only as a vanity project of an overindulgent man. It was then I seriously considered giving it up and starting fresh. However I then considered that I had sunk two years into the thing and I wouldn’t just stop. The attempt to salvage the mess became drafts four to five. Soon I had brought it back to earth and began to try to get it produced. It was soon picked up by a small film company by the name of Panorama Pictures. It was to be the most elaborate project they had ever produced. Even so it seemed like my movie was going to be produced. I would finally make a break in to the business. I was living a great life. I came close to quitting my job, proposing to my girlfriend, being somebody. However like all good things it would soon come to the end.
I remember December, 3, 2006 better than almost any other day. It began with my normal trip to the preproduction meeting with my director. The meeting happened in a restaurant out in the suburbs near where he worked out a “major part of his inspiration ritual”. The place was like any other restaurant in the area down to the smells of bland food covered up by spices and men in suits having hushed conversations over cheap beer and fish. As I waited for my director I did as I usually did and pulled out a notepad and paper and began jotting down the conversations of people around me. I always tried but somehow succeeded in exceeding some of the odder ones I heard. For instance once two people were talking about the best methods for robbing a bank, others spoke about the implied internal conflict in Garfield comics, while still others discussed the others former job grading SATs and the odd names he came across and others still debated weather it was odd to have their 50 year old son go into a time out for refusing to eat his vegetables. Anyway that day the conversations were relatively mundane. The only one that came anywhere near interesting was a man telling his date about his pets named after characters in the lion king. It was interesting but nothing worth working into my next screenplay. As I listened I sat in my chair consuming basket after basket of appetizer bread wondering when my director would show up. When he did finally show up he had his cell phone in hand grave look on his face. He walked over to my table like a doctor about to give awful news. When he came to the table he stayed silent saying nothing but his drink order. I waited with a sick anticipation for his implied awful news. He didn’t speak just downing one drink and then another. The bread I had just eaten began to fell heavier. Then after three drinks he spoke.
“It’s over”
“What?”
“You know what I just said don’t make me repeat it.”
“But what? What’s over?
“Panorama it’s all down the toilet.”
“Seriously it went under…but what about…how….wait what happened?”
“Our grant money all gone. Apparently making a film that consisted only of a fat man dancing is not in good “taste””
“But my movie what about that?”
“Ha are you kidding me its over just like the whole company.”
“So all that work….”
“Useless”
“Oh wow…”
“Well now I have to tell everyone movies over and I’m um sorry”
He than left me alone in a restaurant by a lake surrounded by my own uneaten food and the cloud of failure. In the next few weeks I became a self-pitying idiot. No one could stand to be around me. My girlfriend broke up with me. My script became just another dead weight. However now I am close to finishing yet another rewrite. I have been working on this script for four years. I am not screwing up my next opportunity.

Info
written: over the past three weeks
Time: 9-11 pm
albums listened to: Muse the resistance, Vampire weekend Contra, Gorillaz: Plastic Beach
food consumed: nothing special
status: work in progress feedback wanted

Novel

2010-12-06T19:07:00.000-08:00

sorry for not posting for the past week. I have been working on a new comic and a novel. I will be sure to post progress on each later.

2010-11-24T14:12:00.000-08:00

A drawing I did for an invitation to a ping pong tournament.

harry potter art

2010-11-20T20:33:00.000-08:00

Just went and saw the latest harry potter movie today.

New concept art and poem

2010-11-18T19:04:00.000-08:00

This is the concept art for my next book. I'm prepping several books for Minnesota springcon (those being Adventures of Alan Moore issue 2, a collaboration I did with my friend Henry, and this book) also a new poem since I have posted so little lately

What if
a fictional character
were to realize the
fact of
his existence

That he himself
is not real
the creation of
a frustrated artist
typing at
a computer

And what
if he were
to tell
his world
this truth

Would he
be hailed as
a prophet
a holy man
or as a crazy
locked up
in a fictional
mental ward

And what if the
characters were not
content to lead
a fictional
existence
and rebelled
against
author
and reader
Paradise Lost
of the made up

Or could an
agreement be
reached between
character
author
and reader
peace

but maybe
all of this
is pointless.
Maybe
characters
are happy
to
be
fiction

Also on another note the one year anniversary of this blog is coming up and if anyone has any ideas on how to celebrate please drop a comment

A poem about worksheeets

2010-10-29T20:04:00.000-07:00

Paper
meant to be
consumed in
white lit classrooms

What
could cause
a man
to create
such an oddity

dire straits
cause
the creation of
ideas from ideas
from ideas
all false

Some man
some where
wondered
how
to be
creative

but
unable
to be
creative
he wrote
a
mass produced
worksheet

meant
to
stir
the
creativity
of
others

this was inspired by a worksheet I had to do for writing class at school.

2010-10-23T19:05:00.000-07:00

sorry for not blogging last week. It kind of slipped my mind. So in an attempt to make up for it I posted some preview art for issue 2 of adventures of Alan Moore (1st issue at http://1890comic.blogspot.com). Yes he sings in issue 2.

2010-10-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow is fall con over at the state fair grounds. I will be there from about noon to the end of the show. Please stop by, say hello and pick up a copy of my new book law shark.

2010-10-14T19:27:00.000-07:00

More text art. One day I intend to write a book with the technique. Also my magpies going up tomorrow. And as a final piece of "necessary" information I will be tabling with Sam Hiti and Lewis Tuck a Minnesota Fallcon http://midwestcomicbook.com/.

2010-10-10T16:19:00.000-07:00

A drawing I did for the invitation for a neighborhood Halloween party.

2010-10-03T16:57:00.000-07:00

The Adventures of alan moore is now up at this link http://1890comic.blogspot.com/ enjoy.

2010-10-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

For my friends birthday I drew his two favorite X-Men Nightcrawler and wolverine

Sneak peak

2010-09-26T18:42:00.000-07:00

the rough thumbnails for my new book law sharks. the book itself will premiere at Minnesota fall con. Also the adventures of Alan Moore #1 will be put online soon.

Magpie tales: Blind Date

2010-09-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

I stand next to the mirror fiddling unnecessarily with my tie. I almost put in contacts but then think if I wear glasses it will make me look more distinguished. For a last touch I dab on some cologne and make my way into my office. I print off directions to the restaurant and I am out the door. On the way, I stop at a store and pick up some flowers to make a good impression. As I continue my drive, I contemplate what I am doing. I'm about to go on a date with some seemingly random woman from the Internet and I worry about making a good impression.

I shake that off that feeling of insecurity as I pull up to the restaurant and exit my car. I take a deep breath and enter the establishment. Inside, I immediately see one woman drinking a glass of white wine and checking the clock obsessively. I know instantly she's my date. I nervously walk up to her and ask "Are you Karen Green?" She answers meekly, "Yes... why do you ask?" I reply, "Well, I'm Will Navidson and.." Quickly, her expression changes as she says, "Hold on a second, you're my date?" "Um yes", I reply." She then looks reflectively at her wine glass and says, "Look, I'm sorry but I don't date your type." Now, I am stumped. So I reply -- now the meek one, "Oh, um that's too bad." I then leave, head down.

On the way out I dump the flowers into the trash and shake my head. Dating is hard if you're a yeti.

This is a magpie tale. The yeti in this story is based on the same idea from my swamp monster story awhile back http://jpbeaty.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-awful-humidity-that-is-so-often.html#comments

Random people

2010-09-22T17:38:00.000-07:00

Here are portraits of people that I've seen recently. Some are friends and some are people I've just walked by, bought coffee from, or just seen from the window of a car

Magpie tale: hourglass

2010-09-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

My office was located on the 3rd floor of a nondescript college building. My classes however were not normal. I had a vast amount of experience in cryptozoology and abstract physics, pertaining to time travel and alternate dimensions and such. My department had recently received much academic attention for the recent discovery, by two of my professors, of a walking stick that allowed one to transverse dimensions. Sadly, upon further testing, the jeweled walking stick had turned out to be far less practical than previously thought and now served as a teaching tool in the history department (authors note: the story of the walking stick can be found at http://jpbeaty.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-sat-in-contemplative-silence-chin.html#comments)

Even so I had given that professor free reign in the basements of all the buildings. Earlier I had received a call saying he had found another more practical solution to the time travel paradox and I now awaited his arrival. As soon as I picked up some work and began to flip through my awaited person came crashing through the door, a brown package in his hand. We exchanged the obligatory hellos and then got down to business. The item he had found was an Egyptian hourglass made around the same period of time as the walking stick. I asked him to show me. He pressed some jewels set in the gold and than in a vortex of sand we went up up up.... When the world reformed itself we found ourselves in the middle of a roman Coliseum. Across the arena from us was a lion. It would suffice to say it wasn't happy. The news wasn't much better when I turned around. Standing there in face paint and armor was a barbarian warrior meant to fight the said lion. The crowd however based on the massive amount of cheering didn't mind if It were us or the lion that was attacked. As I thought, this the warrior charged me and my friend. In an act of plain stupidity my companion stuck out the item he happened to be holding. The problem was that that item happened to be the hour glass. As the barbarian's sword plunged into the hour glass we snapped back to our own time. When I looked the top part of the glass was shattered, sword still in it. That night in my nondescript office on the third floor my professor friend and I sat gluing together pieces of glass.

this is a magpie tale http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

new pen and ink

2010-09-15T19:10:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been reading a lot of Hemingway so I did this pen and ink piece called "in the shadow of Kilimanjaro.

The Guide's Window

2010-09-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

The forest morning was crisp. I walked alone with the leaves cracking under my feet. I clutched my coat closer against the chilling fall winds. The trees looked almost skeletal against the clear air. Up ahead along the trail -- leaning against a fallen tree -- was the person I had come to meet. He was my good friend and today we intended to wander the woods for the day with his acquaintance, a guide who knew the area quite well.

When I arrived the guide shook my hand. For a split second it seemed like the wind suddenly got colder, but the feeling soon passed. Then, for the next several hours we were shown all there was to see in the acres of wilderness. After this time we came upon a house in the woods sticking out like a sore thumb. Our guide strode confidently toward it. I stood hesitantly until something caught my eye. In the window was a transparent figure looking out the window. I ran away back to my car screaming.

The two remaining men look at each other for a second. The guide looked over to my friend and asked "Did you tell him about my wife and me by chance?" The friend replied "no, it must have slipped my mind." The guide simply replied "Oh well, lets go see what's for lunch". With that the friend walked around to the door as the guide turned transparent and went through the wall.

this is a magpie tale http://magpietales.blogspot.com/ and a poet rally post. For the perfect poet award I nominate because they comment on all my posts Brian and jingle.

2010-09-05T18:41:00.000-07:00

new old school vampire art,

2010-09-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

Snakeman the celebrity fends off the paparazzi.

2010-08-31T15:07:00.000-07:00

I found out if you draw on low quality tissues the ink bleeds through to the next forming a ghost image. So I did a quick comic (or flip book) of a man appearing. The last image was the first one I drew and the others were the bled ink.

2010-08-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

Two photos from MIX.

2010-08-25T18:45:00.001-07:00

I had been in the doctor’s office for the better part of an hour. I sat waiting for a diagnosis that I hoped would disprove my suspicions, yet I was ready to take it. After all, working in a biochemical plant is like playing the disease lottery. Even so, it came as a jolt of surprise when the doctor reported that an abnormal tumor was growing within my right arm and the arm might have to be amputated. However, he encouraged calm as I waited for the MRI results to return. Just as I thought, the doctor came out of his office with a grave look on his face. I walked over to him. “Did it come back positive?” The doctor just nodded gravely.

Two days later it was time for surgery. I laid spread eagle on the metal table. The doctor pulled a painful looking needle from the tray beside me. “This will only hurt a bit and then you will fade to black…” The next second I was out cold.

When I came to, I expected to awake in a normal hospital bed with family and friends at my bedside. Instead, I saw various doctors and nurses in a state of panic. I could tell something was seriously wrong. Then the doctor said panicked in a low worried voice, “How does one amputate the wrong arm?!”

fin

new short story...

2010-08-24T18:11:00.000-07:00

An rough sketch for a print I call law sharks.

2010-08-20T19:54:00.000-07:00

Well tomorrow morning I'm off to MIX... I am at table 67... see everyone there.

2010-08-19T19:28:00.000-07:00

a batman scratch piece

2010-08-14T06:31:00.000-07:00

For the next week I will be out of town in a place with no computers so I will not post. However when I get home it will be MIX and I'll be sure to post some photos. until then...
The final front and back covers for The Adventures of Alan Moore

2010-08-11T08:51:00.001-07:00

ACT I

Curtain opens on a living room. Will is standing alone talking on the phone.

Will: Hey man how’s it going? Yeah she’s coming home. No I haven’t proposed. Can you get off my back about it? Ah it’s fine mom. Hey did you hear about the zombie outbreak by my house? Nah it was pretty minor no need to worry. Wait she’s coming in gotta go.

Ramona comes through the door she is crying.

Will: What’s wrong?

Ramona: I…I got…got

Will: What? What happened?

Ramona: I got bit!

Cries harder

Will: Bit! Bit by what?

Ramona: A zombie!

Will: No! how could this happen?

Ramona (sobs): Well (sniffles) I was walking home form work alone I might add and well I dropped my purse and as I bent over a…a zombie bit me in the arm.

Will: No does that mean…

Ramona: yes I have 3 hours until I…

Will: no this can’t be happening not to you… Wait I have an idea! I just read an article in um the New York Times that says zombies really are still human or something.

Ramona: well ok then…

They sit down there is silence for some time.
Will is sitting in the easy chair looking worried as is Ramona. suddenly she bolts up as if she just had a great idea.
Ramona: you know I’ve been doing some thinking. Maybe once I’m a zombie I can keep myself from eating you or anyone else. I mean I’m still a human right and even if I lose that I’ll still have my humanity. Now that I have thought about it I know that I don’t have to be a bloodthirsty zombie. I can be a nice zombie. In fact I’ll change the way people see the walking dead. I can change the world show them that zombies can be sweet and caring without the craving for Man. And then I can teach the other zombies that just because their undead doesn’t mean their not human beings.

Will: what are you crazy! No we are not accepting this. We will go down fighting!

Ramona: No I’m gonna become a zombie so why fight it.

Will: Why fight it!? Honey why are you talking like that? Wait a second… lack of fighting spirit. That…that’s one of the fist signs!

Ramona: What are you talking about? all I’m saying is that…

Will slaps her.

Ramona: What was that for!

Will: Funny I read somewhere that if you slap them it might…

Ramona: Shut up! I don’t care what you read. Once you’ve been bitten there’s no turning back! God men!

Ramona sits back down and turns away from Will. Awkward pause

Will: look Ramona I’m sorry I that I…

Ramona: No I understand and even though there’s no cure I’m ok with you trying out you (finger quotes) methods for preventing it.

Will: Ok then I’m going to the Internet.

Ramona: good and can you grab me some raw meat from the fridge.

Will: oh god…snap out it!

Ramona: Snap out of what!?

Will: I don’t know your zombieness.

Ramona: Look are you gonna be this paranoid all I wanted to do was eat raw meat…

Will: that’s the problem… I mean what human wants raw meat…

Ramona: Well I do!

Will: Fine I give up have your raw meat!!

Ramona: well if it means so much to you fine I’m not even hungry any more….

They sit in silence for a minute. Finally Will sighs goes to the freezer brings back a steak.

Will: here you go

Ramona: thank you Will I know it was difficult for you…

Will: well this is as far as I’m going to accept your transformation… I will stop this!

End Act I

Act 1 of the play I'm writing future zombie.

2010-08-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

Minnesota's alt weekly city pages does a comix issue every year where indie cartoonists send in comics acording to a certain theme. Anyway my comic snakeman declares independence is up right now check it out. http://www.citypages.com/microsites/comics-beaty/, it is under jp beaty.

2010-08-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

well after a long period of work the fist issue of adventures of alan moore are finished and will be printed later this week. It will be premiered at the Minneapolis indie expo http://mplsindiexpo.com/ later this month. For those in the area it's sure to be a great time. Also if any readers want a copy I will try to sell online.

2010-08-07T16:34:00.000-07:00

Ok this post may take a bit of explaining. I tried an experiment where I tried to remember a dream I had the night before and draw it. Now the dream in question happened to be a weird one. The dream was a sort of Mesa in the desert with a building made of text on top. So there you go.

2010-08-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

“Why did the chicken cross the road?” This simple question has baffled people for centuries. It is time we got a definitive scientific answer to this enigma. This essay will try to answer this age old riddle in a non byes scientific essay. To start we need to be sure it is even possible for poultry to cross a road. If we assume the road in question is say, a county lane, the factors involved would include the status of the road, the ratios of cow pies to soil, the amount of meat in the chicken and friction. My hypostasis was originally that the chicken would be unable to cross the road. To test my theory I went to Dr. Johan Von Strausenburger head of farm animal research at Texas A&M. During my meeting he with he said with no variables changed and no outside factors acting upon the chicken it was physically able to cross the road. He did however say he seriously doubted that under real world conditions that the chicken could cross the road. Just to be completely sure I decided to perform an experiment to test the possibility of chickens crossing lanes. At the lane where I was to do the experiment I met farmer Biff Brownstone. He said he once knew a man who supposedly saw a chicken cross a road. Brownstone then snorted and returned to his work. After meeting Biff I took readings of the various variables of the road. I then released the chicken onto the road. I was shocked to see what happened next. The chicken actually succeeded in crossing the road. Several more tests with different chickens proved that the first test wasn’t just a scientific anomaly. I do believe that this discovery will shake the scientific world for decades to come. To think an animal lacking in human intelligence was able to go through the thought the complex posses of the muscles movement needed to cross a road. It is also truly amazing to think that just 30 years ago it was not believed that animals could even walk. That being said it may be possible for a lower life form to communicate or even to think. This discovery opens many doors but also terrifying questions such as what if animals can express emotion a poses long thought to be unique to humans? To answer these questions further research is necessary. Now that’s its established that chickens can indeed cross roads (much to my surprise) we now must answer the fundamental question of why. For this I go famed animal psychologist Rupert Maunkiul. As I tell him about my studies he reacts puzzled when I told him that a chicken was able to cross the road. After several days of intense questioning we came to the fallowing thesis. While the average person may believe the chicken was motivated by such factors as food or mating we decided to dig deeper into the mind of a chicken.

The start of a satire of scientific studies. As an extra challenge (and a good writing exercise) try and finish it. I'd love to read the results.

2010-08-03T19:30:00.000-07:00

Don't worry just because zombies look threatening they really just want to be your friend... right?

2010-08-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

In honor of Shark Week I have drawn sharks in humans clothes and humans in the water waiting to attack.

2010-08-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

Quick self portrait in ink

2010-07-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

noir

2010-07-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

A random doodle of a squid party.

2010-07-24T17:03:00.000-07:00

Superman and Batman

and Lex Luthor and the Joker

2010-07-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

Rough for the Adventures of Alan Moore cover. It is ripping off the Scream.

2010-07-17T08:12:00.000-07:00

Int diner early morning.
Main character (MARK) is sitting moping while drinking a cup of coffee. We see him looking at various couples around the diner performing public displays of affection. His brow furrows. He snorts angrily and returns to his drink. Then entering the diner is KATE a manic pixie dream girl who radiates energy. She sees MARK moping and decides to walk over though she has no idea who he is. She slides into his booth.

KATE
Hiya person I’ve never met and just saw 5 minutes ago. I intend to become your girlfriend who will pull you out of your of the slump and help you learn about yourself.

MARK
Stop talking to me I’m trying to get over my last relationship that ended abruptly last night. I have no intention of being with another woman because my last one hurt me so bad…

KATE
So what! I’m still happy even though I’m single mother trying to balance my career as an editor at a fashion magazine while trying to raise two adorable children in the big city.

MARK
Well I’m different I’m a struggling artist who has been hurt by women far too many times. So no I don’t want to go out with you!

MARK storms out. KATE breaks the fourth wall and gives a knowing wink to the camera. Fade to black.

Int mall later that day

MARK and his obnoxious best friend HARRY are at the mall.

HARRY
So what was so remarkable about Super Mario bros 2 was the introduction of… (Add lib)

MARK zones out and then in the corner of his eye sees KATE and her gay roommate C@RL.

MARK (to self)
No way! It can’t be the same strange woman I met earlier today.

We see a look of discomfort cross his face as he sees that KATE and C@RL notice him.

HARRY
Um dude what’s wrong you look like you saw a ghost…

MARK
Remember that crazy girl I told you about earlier. The one who I’m weirded out by but oddly attracted to.

HARRY
Yeah why?

MARK (astonished)
I might be crazy but I think I see her again. Oh hi Kate… What are you doing here?

KATE
Well C@RL here was just helping me pick out a bridesmaid’s dress for my sister’s wedding tomorrow. Do you want to help me?

MARK
Um just one second…

Pulls HARRY aside and whispers

MARK
Should I go with her?

A sly smile crosses mark’s face.
HARRY
You like her don’t you?

Mark looks around in desperation.
MARK
Yes even though she is completely crazy I think I am beginning to fall in love with her.

HARRY
Well if you think that I’ll leave you two alone. (outward) Well I’ll just be at game stop but MARK would love to join you.

MONTAGUE
KATE is shown trying on various outfits each of witch prompts MARK and C@RL to give thumbs down until the last one witch they give thumbs up to.

Int food court later
they are sitting with shopping bags slung over the chairs. They look tiered yet happy as though the just had a good time. KATE is laughing and then her cell phone rings

KATE
Hello… yes what do you mean you can’t make it… yes it’s a big deal… ok I’ll have to figure something out. Ok good bye. (puts down phone) My sitter just called she can’t babysit the kids tonight. oh and on the night of my best friend’s wedding…
MARK

I’ll babysit your kids so I can gain your trust and make you love me.

ok this is me trying my hand at 2 forms of new writing: screenwriting and parody. This is meant as a satire of romantic comedies. I tried to use every cliche ever used in those types of movies. I will be adding the rest when I finish.

2010-07-14T19:55:00.000-07:00

new adventures of Alan Moore update: the penciling is complete for the first issue of the new adventures of Alan Moore. The inking should be done by the end of this month.
here is the final list of real people appearing in issue #1
1. Alan Moore (obviously)
2. Andrew Zimmern
3. Grant Morrison
4. Neil Gaiman
5. My friend Adam
6. My friend Henry Dykstal
7. Jason Maraz
8. Muse
9. Maha
10. Todd McFarlane (final boss)

also for the covers I plan to rip off famous art that uses Alan Moore instead of the subjects of the painting. For instance the first cover will be The Scream.

2010-07-13T19:18:00.000-07:00

Lyrics to the Paul the octopus song: Paul, Paul, we want Paul !! Paul, Paul, we want Paul !! Paul the octopus, Paul the octopus, Paul the octopus, we love you. You pick the winner when you eat your dinner, Paul the octopus, we love you. Your tentacles are magical, they pick the winning team. You were born in England, now you live in Germany. Paul, Paul, we want Paul !! Paul the octopus, Paul the octopus, Paul the octopus, we love you. You pick the winner when you eat your dinner, Paul the octopus, we... love... YOU

For those who don't know Paul is the awesome octopus who picks World Cup winners.

2010-07-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

a new scratch piece I did

2010-07-07T19:19:00.000-07:00

Dwight Schrute from the office with his favorite things: bears beets battlestar galactica

2010-07-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

My band the G-Raffs. I play guitar in it

2010-07-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

In the awful humidity that is so often associated with summer sits a woman intently tapping on the chair leg as if a victim of some odd nervous disorder.In the distance she hears fourth of july fire crackers. they seem however to be in another world. Her husband had said he would return over an hour ago. She reaches for her cell phone once again. Like every other attempt, all she receives is a prerecorded message informing her that her husband's phone has been turned off. She curses her own poor lack of foresight in forgetting to bring the charger. Finally, after waiting another half an hour, she can take it no more and strides into the awful smelling forest surrounding the house. However, by the time the lights from the house have faded she regrets her rash action. The dark swamp seems to be an alien planet. The trees are draped with slimy moss and deep in thick mud. The woman by now in the clutches of fear pulls her cell phone from her pocket. The illumination however lasts only for several seconds as the woman's shaking hands drop the phone into the mud causing it to die as it slithers out of sight.

The sounds of the swamp have become increasingly threatening. Then, up ahead from behind a tree comes a soft glow. She breaks into a sprint leaving one of her shoes behind in the mud and falling face first into the glowing clearing. As she looks up, there sits her husband and a strange creature. "Honey it's you...we have to get out of here...there's a..." Her husband responds in a knowing tone, "I know, there is swamp monster here and he happens to be my uncle, and he appears to be extremely annoyed by you." The swamp monster nods as if to prove her husband's point. The wife responds "Wait, your uncle was reported missing years ago." At this point, the husband looks at his hands and sheepishly shares "well honey, there is something about me -- scratch that -- my family that I neglected to tell you. See my family has a genetic condition where one branch of each generation must become a swamp monster...or yeti...or something. We fill humanity's need for mythical creatures. My uncle was the monster of his generation and we are being asked to be the monsters of ours." He cringes as he waits for his wife's response. She replies in complete disbelief, "So you are saying that I need to turn into a swamp monster?" At this point his uncle intones in a grave voice "Being a monster isn't all bad, in fact you get access to magic areas of all major cities and free seats at sporting and artistic events. And you are given a nice home in a secluded swamp somewhere." The woman stands mouth gaping open until replying to her husband "Let me guess. You are going to do this anyway, right?" The husband slowly nods confirmation. In a reply that even surprises herself she says "well, then I guess I will too." With that, the uncle begins the ceremony.

The next day a young couple is reported missing. The case remains open. On the same day many people report seeing three "swamp monsters" moving away from town.

A local man's encounter with the monsters

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

2010-06-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

The cover of the book I'm currently working on "The New Adventures of Alan Moore." It fallows the adventures of the eccentric comic writer Alan Moore (He is real by the way) as he tries to avoid selling out. Also I will include as many real people (including jason maraz, muse, Grant morrison, Sam Hiti, Will Dinski, Andrew Zimmern, JK Rowling, and various other politicians writers and artists.) I will also include any other bloggers who want to be in the book. If you want to just leave me a comment.

2010-06-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

a godzilla skech

2010-06-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

I will on vacation this next week so I will not be posting. Will miss you all and will post again this weekend.

2010-06-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

A drawing of the shore of the great lakes. Also go wish Maha http://lostmelody-m.blogspot.com/ a happy birthday

2010-06-10T17:26:00.000-07:00

The final minutes seemed interminable. I sat at the edge of my seat drumming a hole in my desk with my fingers. I could feel the intense pressure building up in the room. Then with one 3-second sound of the bell the pressure burst. People bolted up from their chairs in a bizarre realization of their sudden freedom. I must admit that for a second I did join in this celebration but then stooped down to grab my things. On the ground sat a cup filled with still-sharp pencils. Then in one of the strangest moments of the day the cup began to talk. "Please I beg of you please don't throw me into a bag and forget about me. Keep learning" he said, voice dripping with evil sarcasm . For a second I considered his offer . "Well, now that you say it like that..." and then I tipped the cup over scattering pencils across the floor. As I walked to the door I muttered back to the pencil cup "not on your life." And I walked out the door into summer.

this is a magpie tale http://magpietales.blogspot.com/. For me this will happen tomorrow (minus the evil pencil cup). Also check out my comic 1890 at this link http://1890comic.blogspot.com/

caracature

2010-06-08T17:36:00.000-07:00

some caracatures

2010-06-07T19:21:00.000-07:00

Hello fans of JP's comics and stuff. I have begun to post my comic 1890 at this link http://1890comic.blogspot.com/. If you have any questions ideas feel free to comment on the blog. Also if you enjoy it please spread the word. Thanks. UPDATE the entire thing is up check it out.

2010-06-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

some sketches I did while selling my books at Minnesota springcon

2010-06-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

A royal guard from Star Wars who in my humble opinion are some of the coolest looking characters of all time.

2010-05-31T17:30:00.001-07:00

Study of my hands.

2010-05-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

A notebook drawing of a swamp monster.

2010-05-25T17:31:00.000-07:00

Today I got back my art portfolio at school. Here's some of the pieces.

cloud watercolors.

Cherubs inspired by Victorian era art.

Davy Jones.

scrachboards inspired by medieval art.

and finally my massive painting.

2010-05-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

Two of the most fun things to draw samurai and ninjas.

2010-05-20T10:32:00.000-07:00

I jumped from the boat and into the grey choppy water. Under the water it was murky with kicked-up sediment. Breathing shallowly I began to swim. It was at this point I began to hate my job. In theory, picking up the pieces from super villain battle was the perfect job - easy, paid well and not usually too dangerous. Today however, I had a hard job. Apparently Team Mongoose had blown up some giant ocean satellite something over the bay. I got the job. So, now I'm in 50 feet of water trying to locate some downed piece of wreckage. suddenly, I saw a flash of movement. I moved over to investigate. Then, from the wreckage came them! Five metal things were moving towards me. Instinctively, I pulled out the spear gun I had for situations like this. The things coming at me were, as it turned out, robotic fish. To make matters much worse, they shot lasers, oh and they knocked my spear gun out of my hands. The fish were a product of an insane scientist -- in other words -- something I deal with all day. Now, just as it seems like I would be dead (killed by robotic fish even), one of them exploded. Then, I saw from behind the wreckage a ninja suit-clad member of Team Mongoose. With 4 shots, he disabled the robot fish and with a small nod to me swam off. I finished the job and by the next week had forgotten all about the incident.

Several weeks later I got a package. Inside were the fish.

this is a magpie tale http://magpietales.blogspot.com/. For thursday's poet rally I nominate Brian http://www.waystationone.com/.

2010-05-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

Photo of me doing a sketch for a child at Minnesota springcon. If I remember right he wanted a Darth Vader drawing.

2010-05-16T11:50:00.000-07:00

Not only does Jason Maraz defeat a mutated shark he gets the girl.

2010-05-11T10:30:00.000-07:00

Well after months of work I have finally completed 1890. It will be up on this blog soon but first I will be selling it at MN spring con. Details will be forthcoming.