Int diner early morning.
Main character (MARK) is sitting moping while drinking a cup of coffee. We see him looking at various couples around the diner performing public displays of affection. His brow furrows. He snorts angrily and returns to his drink. Then entering the diner is KATE a manic pixie dream girl who radiates energy. She sees MARK moping and decides to walk over though she has no idea who he is. She slides into his booth.

KATE
Hiya person I’ve never met and just saw 5 minutes ago. I intend to become your girlfriend who will pull you out of your of the slump and help you learn about yourself.

MARK
Stop talking to me I’m trying to get over my last relationship that ended abruptly last night. I have no intention of being with another woman because my last one hurt me so bad…

KATE
So what! I’m still happy even though I’m single mother trying to balance my career as an editor at a fashion magazine while trying to raise two adorable children in the big city.

MARK
Well I’m different I’m a struggling artist who has been hurt by women far too many times. So no I don’t want to go out with you!

MARK storms out. KATE breaks the fourth wall and gives a knowing wink to the camera. Fade to black.

Int mall later that day

MARK and his obnoxious best friend HARRY are at the mall.

HARRY
So what was so remarkable about Super Mario bros 2 was the introduction of… (Add lib)

MARK zones out and then in the corner of his eye sees KATE and her gay roommate C@RL.

MARK (to self)
No way! It can’t be the same strange woman I met earlier today.

We see a look of discomfort cross his face as he sees that KATE and C@RL notice him.

HARRY
Um dude what’s wrong you look like you saw a ghost…


MARK
Remember that crazy girl I told you about earlier. The one who I’m weirded out by but oddly attracted to.

HARRY
Yeah why?

MARK (astonished)
I might be crazy but I think I see her again. Oh hi Kate… What are you doing here?

KATE
Well C@RL here was just helping me pick out a bridesmaid’s dress for my sister’s wedding tomorrow. Do you want to help me?

MARK
Um just one second…

Pulls HARRY aside and whispers

MARK
Should I go with her?

A sly smile crosses mark’s face.
HARRY
You like her don’t you?

Mark looks around in desperation.
MARK
Yes even though she is completely crazy I think I am beginning to fall in love with her.

HARRY
Well if you think that I’ll leave you two alone. (outward) Well I’ll just be at game stop but MARK would love to join you.

MONTAGUE
KATE is shown trying on various outfits each of witch prompts MARK and C@RL to give thumbs down until the last one witch they give thumbs up to.

Int food court later
they are sitting with shopping bags slung over the chairs. They look tiered yet happy as though the just had a good time. KATE is laughing and then her cell phone rings

KATE
Hello… yes what do you mean you can’t make it… yes it’s a big deal… ok I’ll have to figure something out. Ok good bye. (puts down phone) My sitter just called she can’t babysit the kids tonight. oh and on the night of my best friend’s wedding…
MARK

I’ll babysit your kids so I can gain your trust and make you love me.


ok this is me trying my hand at 2 forms of new writing: screenwriting and parody. This is meant as a satire of romantic comedies. I tried to use every cliche ever used in those types of movies. I will be adding the rest when I finish.