I stand next to the mirror fiddling unnecessarily with my tie. I almost put in contacts but then think if I wear glasses it will make me look more distinguished. For a last touch I dab on some cologne and make my way into my office. I print off directions to the restaurant and I am out the door. On the way, I stop at a store and pick up some flowers to make a good impression. As I continue my drive, I contemplate what I am doing. I'm about to go on a date with some seemingly random woman from the Internet and I worry about making a good impression.
I shake that off that feeling of insecurity as I pull up to the restaurant and exit my car. I take a deep breath and enter the establishment. Inside, I immediately see one woman drinking a glass of white wine and checking the clock obsessively. I know instantly she's my date. I nervously walk up to her and ask "Are you Karen Green?" She answers meekly, "Yes... why do you ask?" I reply, "Well, I'm Will Navidson and.." Quickly, her expression changes as she says, "Hold on a second, you're my date?" "Um yes", I reply." She then looks reflectively at her wine glass and says, "Look, I'm sorry but I don't date your type." Now, I am stumped. So I reply -- now the meek one, "Oh, um that's too bad." I then leave, head down.
On the way out I dump the flowers into the trash and shake my head. Dating is hard if you're a yeti.
This is a magpie tale. The yeti in this story is based on the same idea from my swamp monster story awhile back http://jpbeaty.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-awful-humidity-that-is-so-often.html#comments