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Friday, September 24, 2010

Magpie tales: Blind Date

I stand next to the mirror fiddling unnecessarily with my tie. I almost put in contacts but then think if I wear glasses it will make me look more distinguished. For a last touch I dab on some cologne and make my way into my office. I print off directions to the restaurant and I am out the door. On the way, I stop at a store and pick up some flowers to make a good impression. As I continue my drive, I contemplate what I am doing. I'm about to go on a date with some seemingly random woman from the Internet and I worry about making a good impression.

I shake that off that feeling of insecurity as I pull up to the restaurant and exit my car. I take a deep breath and enter the establishment. Inside, I immediately see one woman drinking a glass of white wine and checking the clock obsessively. I know instantly she's my date. I nervously walk up to her and ask "Are you Karen Green?" She answers meekly, "Yes... why do you ask?" I reply, "Well, I'm Will Navidson and.." Quickly, her expression changes as she says, "Hold on a second, you're my date?" "Um yes", I reply." She then looks reflectively at her wine glass and says, "Look, I'm sorry but I don't date your type." Now, I am stumped. So I reply -- now the meek one, "Oh, um that's too bad." I then leave, head down.

On the way out I dump the flowers into the trash and shake my head. Dating is hard if you're a yeti.

This is a magpie tale. The yeti in this story is based on the same idea from my swamp monster story awhile back http://jpbeaty.blogspot.com/2010/07/in-awful-humidity-that-is-so-often.html#comments


  1. Oh, so funny! (I looked up 'yeti') ALL he needed was a nice overall haircut. Maybe? LOL

  2. haha. yeah he might want to get a shave next time...unfortuantely feeling like a yeti and actually being one are two different things...fun magpie...

  3. "Dating is hard if you're a Yeti"...LOVE that line. An element of surprise is a sign of great writing. Good job JP.

  4. ...Dating is hard if you're a yeti.

    I guess so, especially if u r not dating another yeti.

    The end was very unexpected, & sad 2.

  5. aww..where's a yeti gotta go to get some love outside of the Yukon?

    bounce back Bumble...you're too deep for Karen. Plus she likes thick, frosty guys anyway...


  6. damn...where's her joie de vivre...sense of adventure? Great post!

  7. Nobody said it would be easy. :) Too funny - love the catch.

  8. Love the surprise even though it was sad, with a comical twist. Oh, but so true to life.

    Nicely done.

  9. Great story, JP. I have visited the blog in a while, but I'll be sure to check back often. I enjoyed the Adventures of Alan Moore! Thanks.
    Joe Spoelstra